3 Years Have Passed---What's new?

So last time I posted was in 2015, a lot has happened. Jumping in:

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    In this past year alone: I have been raising not only my 8 year old daughter but my one year old daughter, moved into a home after renting and staying at in-laws for a small chunk of my marriage and currently am pregnant with my third child--a boy! This year alone has definitely been a whirlwind. I joke that I've feel like I have been pregnant for two years which when you think about comfort, this year hasn't been my best.

     I remember when I was in high school I had this pregnant cat named Tibby and her stomach was like a basketball and I would roll her side to side, which she would meow in discomfort but in my defense it looked funny... and she couldn't do much to me because of her lethargic state. Now, I suppose the universe has finally gotten around to give me payback since that's pretty much how I move around.
SIDE NOTE: Something unfortunate that happened last year: I am no longer the proud owner of a cat, since she was aggressively playful, and we didn't know what to expect from her with a newborn, we decided it would be best if we re-homed her. We gave her up to be readopted but since she was ONLY comfortable around familiar faces, we have no idea if they kept her like they said they would or not. Which it hurts to say, but we are hopeful that she was re-homed because she was family and was a really great companion. Hopefully in the future we get to adopt again when these babies aren't so little and they understand how to properly treat animals.

    I'm on my 7th month and this little guy LOVES laying on my spine and using my stomach, diaphragm and hip bones as his personal punching bag. Braxton Hicks contractions have started this month and this week alone my entire family minus my oldest have gotten sinus infections/colds. Lucky them they get to use antibiotics and western medicine to help relieve their symptoms while this preggo is stuck drinking decaffeinated teas with honey and gargle salt water! Crossing fingers I get well before Thanksgiving, I'm looking forward to seeing family and enjoying my cheat day. Which knowing me I will probably be eating small portions and on the look out for healthy options since that's my thing now. Ugh why does food have to be so freakin' good and unhealthy at the same time!
    Any who, I want to start blogging again, but make it more frequent because my days consists of changing diapers, feedings and snacks, playing with a one year old, learning sign language for babies, ABC songs, lullabies with the occasional drop off and pick ups. I feel blessed to have everything I have but I'm definitely stressing about two babies under two and not enough adult time since my husband took a second job--thanks to surprise baby number three. So my kid meter is through the roof and I could really use an outlet that can put me within view of adult eyes even virtual eyes. So hopefully I hear from some of you soon!!
 

Spayed Cat After Effects

Hey Everyone,

I first and foremost want to apologize for not creating any content recently, just haven't felt inspired. However my daughter opened a side of me that made the creativity flood out of me. So hopefully I can continue writing on this thing. Let's see if I can make a set schedule and stick to it.

So today's post is going to be about my four month old cat/kitten who got spayed recently. I was really worried how the after effects of her surgery were going to turn out. I researched and some said their cats were friendlier and others distant or aggressive. I was looking into cones because there were warnings that the stitching will break off with too much licking. I was also looking for alternatives like stomach braces to cover the stitching. I was researching like nobody's business.

The day started out bright and early with a heavy thunder storm and lighting show that lasted hours from the night before. Harmony was laying on top of my pillow and as my alarm rang her soft paw and furry arm extended into my arm as if to say "Please, stay a bit longer!" Oh Harmony, you know the way to my heart. So after having an inner argument with myself on how guilty I felt that she was going to get cut and never have kittens in her life. I hesitantly got up and got ready. This photo was on the drive to the animal hospital and it is titled appropriately however I don't think she knew what was in store for her. We arrived around 8:50 a.m.

Arriving fairly early, it was a very somber wait as we waited to be called. The animal hospital informed us that she would be ready around 4 to 4:30 p.m. but to call around 3:30 p.m. for a phone checkup. We waited the whole day without her, hoping and praying her surgery was successful. I excitedly/nervously called at 3:30 p.m. and they told me she was awake and resting. What a relief to hear, however he informed to to wait until 4:30 p.m. to pick her up because they wanted to do further observation. During pick up they did not give us any harness or cone, just medicines that we acquired for her pain which totaled $25.00. This is her at home resting with stitches.

What was included in the instructions to take care of feline patient
1. COUGHING-May notice couching for next couple of days--which is normal due to small irritation in tube placed in throat from the endotracheal tube. If coughing seems excessive  or you are in any way concern, call office.
2. FOOD- Please keep animal confined until recovered completely. Restrict water and food intake to small palm size amounts or 1/3 of the normal ration for night. Normal feedings can continue tomorrow morning.
3. TEMPERATURE and APPEARANCE- because of anesthetic can lower their body temperature, keep them someplace warm and dry. Keep incision clean and dry. If any redness appears please call our office. Your pet has been surgically altered and you need to restrict her activity for the next 10-14 days. NO suture removal necessary.


So not being content with the information I received and continued research with the San Francisco SPCA ...here are some more things to look out for:
Monitoring Incision-The first several days after surgery are a critical monitoring period. There is no need to put hydrogen peroxide, soap or water, or first aid creams on incision. If discharge looks like pus it could be a sign of infection.  Things to keep on eye on are:

• Redness
• Swelling
• Discharge
• Lethargy
• Lack of Appetite
• Hiding
• Vomiting
• Bloody Diarrhea

Harmony was acting normal wanting to run and play was a little grumpy due to the restricted food and water (she couldn't eat after 9 p.m. the previous night). She attempted many times to lick her stitching and she still does but a lot less frequent. The stitching looks a little pink but I don't think it is anything to be alarmed about. Her diet has continued like normal and she is doing well.

The reason I'm writing this post is so if you have your animal spayed or neutered you have an idea what  happens and what to expect.

Thank you for reading :)

Almost killed my kitten??? Sergeant's Cat Shampoo Review




13 week old Harmony

A couple of weeks ago I bought Sergeant's Skip-Flea Flea and Tick Shampoo for Cats and Kittens Coconut Berry Smell from my local grocery store. I didn't use it right away because my kitten was still too young (under 12 weeks old). I took her a basic water a baby shampoo bath when I first adopted her just to get all that caged urine and feces smell out of her. It dried up her skin because she kept scatching. Having plenty of animals I looked for fleas and ticks afterward and thankfully found none. So while shopping at my local H-E-B grocery store I found my way to the pet supply aisle. I found this shampoo for cats and kittens and the rest were for dogs. So it being my only option I grabbed the purple shampoo and continued shopping. The shampoo had stayed in my pantry for a week or two until my little Harmony was of age. After giving her a bath when she was brought to my home I didn't really feel the need to give her another but, my husband saw the idle shampoo as money wasted and kept asking me to give her a bath.

With some hesitation I did, briefly read instructions on how much to put on and asked my five year old for help. I put gloves on and asked my daughter to hold the shampoo and when I needed it poured to put some on. So like a cat usually does when given a bath I held the cat from escaping while having my daughter pour directly on Harmony's fur. I lathered her and instead of waiting five minutes for the shampoo to kill ticks or fleas I immidiately washed off the shampoo solution. After a good rinse I attempted to dry her. Mid-dry Harmony jumped from my arms and ran under the couch. I see that she was in the corner of the couch licking and shaking excess water on her skin. While under the couch she began throwing up. She hadn't eatten anything since lunch at at this time she hadn't had dinner yet. I immeidately reacted and pushed the couch aside so I can get her. She ran out of under the couch and began throwing up on the living room tiled floor. I washed her paws off with water since she stepped on her vomit. I held her as she shook and desperately asked my husband to check if vomitting and shaking was a normal side effect. He claimed it to be so, but I was not conviced something in me felt uncomfortable about the whole ordeal. When giving her her first bath with baby shampoo she didn't try to flee or hide or throw up, she went back to things as normal. So holding her in a blanket to keep her from shaking or further licking on one hand and my phone in my other---I checked the reviews. On a website called Consumer Affairs. I found countless of horrific reviews on Sergeant's products for cats and dogs alike. A lot of them claimed death of their animal others claimed zombie like state after use and others said it made their furry friend's hair fall off. Feeling guilty I prayed for a miracle if what I read was in the future for Harmony.(If you would like to read for yourself the reviews for the Sergeant's dog and cat products http://www.consumeraffairs.com/pets/sergeants.html) I declared to stay up all night to watch over her and even asked my husband to get a Vet hospital on speed dial if anything were to arise. After being up until 4 a.m. with no further incidents I fell asleep. I woke up to find a healthy happy fisty kitten at my door at 9 a.m. for her breakfast. She had eaten all her food from last night's dinner and drank all her water. Needless to say I was relieved and thankful nothing had happened to her and she was acting normal.

I continued to do research and read the bottle in full over and over. So after reading the bottle I saw words like pesticide which isn't uncommon when you are dealing with fleas or ticks. I read active ingredients and saw Pyrethins which is usually an organic insecticide unless mixed with Piperonyl Butoxide which is a synthetic pesticide are supposed to ensure the death in ticks and fleas. The amount of the two ingredients are .55% which doesn't seem like it could do a lot of damage. What stuck me as suspicous was the 99.45%  in Other Ingredients. I researched a lot at could not find the actual ingredients used in this pesticide solution. Even browzing the Sergeant's website, it doesn't reveal what is in the other ingredients. So far with my scare I will NOT be using this particular shampoo on my Harmony anymore. The fact that the reviews are a deterrance enough, the fact that the product's website won't even disclose the other ingredients for whatever reason has me not wanting to endure that experience again.

Reading the Humane Society website this is some information given when giving your animal a bath using any pesticide ingredients.

"If you do decide to use flea and tick products
Follow these simple steps to help prevent problems:

• Never use dog treatments on cats, and vice versa
• Always be certain of your pet's weight before purchase to ensure proper dosage
• Don't split one "large dog" dose in half for two small dogs (or combine two "small dog" doses for one large dog)
• Read and follow all instructions when using these products
• Do not use these products on elderly or pregnant animals

How to tell if your pet has been poisoned

Symptoms of poisoning by flea/tick treatments may include salivating, dilated pupils, tremors, vomiting, hiding, shivering, and skin irritation.

What to do if your pet has been poisoned

If you suspect your pet may have suffered negative health effects as a result of a flea product, consult with your veterinarian immediately. If you think a child has ingested a pesticide, call your local poison control center. Be sure to report all such incidents to the EPA's National Pesticide Telecommunications Network at 800-858-7378, or follow these steps to report an animal exposure or illness »"
website: http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/flea_tick_OTC_pet_products.html

My regret was not going to the the Animal hospital immidiately after the incident. After several days she has been acting fine except for itching.  She will be going to the Vet this friday for a follow up and I will bring this up to the Vet for more information. If you experience any of these symtoms or just have an ugly feeling about a product please read and research. I didn't and I really wished I did to keep Harmony from being posioned. I do think she was posioned a small amount and if I had left her on her own to dry herself I'm sure she would've showed more signs of being posioned. I do not trust this product however, other reviews stated nothing had happened to their animal and it worked fine. It is all up to you when you are shopping and what you can afford, but please don't take pesticide lightly. It worried me on possibly having my cat die or sick, my daughter's and my exposure to  the chemical (which we washed our hands throughly and took a good shower afterward) which could have been avoided had I researched or found a shampoo not targeted to fleas or ticks.

 

Bucket List

   
July 15, 2015

So I've been really contemplating what I'm doing with my life and why I'm so anxious. I started blogging to help me get some inner thoughts and frustrations out and stopped cold turkey. I really enjoy writing and it should be a no brainer to write for the heck of it.
      So back to what contemplating I thought to myself and found that I have all these goals and wants and no way will I ever accomplish it EVER! Call me a pessimist but I evaluate life as I see it and frankly what are the chances I'll ever live in Japan, enjoy a warm bath in a Japanese Onsen (those of you who don't know what an Onsen is a bathing facility or could be in a inn on or near a hot spring where you just relax with nature naked.) The idea of one fascinates me and is just so NOT me. So back to this bucket list I thought since I probably will never do any of them maybe writing it on this permanent place called the internet and not a loose leaf paper will make these goals more tangible--something worth doing and not placed in the bottom of a paper stack stuck in my closet or worst the trash!

Photo by: http://www.hercampus.com/school/ku/ku-bucket-list

1. Learn Spanish
     -I live less then five minutes from the United States-Mexico border and do not know Spanish fluently to speak it, write it or understand it. Don't get me wrong it know some but not enough where I know everything being told to me. (Sometimes people who don't know English talk to me thinking "this girl knows what I'm saying I'm just going to talk in Spanish" and I'm pick up some words and smile and nod the rest of the conversation). Therefore I'd like to learn Spanish so I can speak and write back without looking like a nodding idiot.

2. Learn Japanese and 3. Go to Japan
     -So while on the topic of learning a language recently I have been immersed in Japanese culture and life. The Japanese are so different from our culture the way they think, the way they dress, lifestyle choices. Did you know that Japan has vending machines with literally everything you may ever need. For example some places in Japan may have vegetables so you don't need to travel all the way to the market to get it. I'd love to go there just for the serenity of the country and the lifestyle just to have an experience.

Photo by: https://spaining.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/why-japan-is-a-good-place-to-visit/

4. Learn how to play guitar 
     -This bucket list goes back to my wannabe rocker days. Who wouldn't want to rock out with their best friends jamming and bonding to your cover songs or your own tunes. Anyway still would love to learn to play so I can finally stop pretending on my air guitar.

5. Missionary Work
    - To be a service to another human being whether making a home or growing food or donating clothing or simply spreading the word of my God would be amazing. It definitely wouldn't be for browning points or for my own personal satisfaction but to humble myself and give back in a world that screams selfishness.

Photo by: http://top-img.com/i/i-want-to-travel-the-world-tumblr

6. Travel the World
     - My husband is a very content where he is person. He rather stay in his hometown never setting foot in an unknown place. I on the other hand not necessarily the polar opposite but just a bit more adventurous. I would love to go to Alaska and see the Northern Lights first hand, feeling the cold breeze sway through the trees onto my face. Maybe go to London and drink at a pub just to experience it. Going to Africa to see a giraffe not enclosed in a cage or a lioness low to the ground getting ready to pounce on it's prey. I feel like my life has no meaning when it sits ideally while the world has so much to offer, so many breathtaking views that other's take for granted.

7. Write a Book
   -I've actually thought about doing one for awhile but my negative self has always brought me down and writer's block has shown me it's ugly face too many times. It would be amazing to write a story and have people relate to you or want to share it with others because it inspired them or made them laugh or made them feel. Although a book would be amazing to write I would first have to write something worth reading. This one is doable--so let's see what the future brings.

8.Become a Teacher
   -This one is just something I've been so close to achieving it's ridiculous. If I could put a number on how close I am to getting my degree I would say 80%. What's stopping me? Well this one will lead to my number seven goal. Number 7 may be the worst and most difficult to state online for the world to see. Simply because of how embarrassing it is to me.

9. Learn to Drive
     -So I'm 26 almost 27 in a couple of days and I do not have my driver's license. How stupid am I? How are 16 year old kids with no care in the world cruising around while I'm stuck at home binge watching Netflix? Well here's my story: When I was in High School my parent's were always too tired to teach me and they had money but not enough to buy driving lessons. Plus I was obsessed with my extra-curricular drama that took about four hours almost every day so when I got home no lessons for me. I got married to my High School Sweetheart who used to teach me but then realized after getting married at 19 years old that I'm better off being chauffeured to and from work.Which wasn't really why he stopped. I think it was more of a control issue. Well years later a child was born and I left my job to raise her and now he's the breadwinner and I'm stuck at home like a good little housewife. I know I sound bitter and I have no one else to blame but me but you know how we as a humans are we don't want any of the blame so we shift it to those closest to us. Anyway as the years have progressed I put driving on this pedestal and I honestly am scared to be in control of this huge piece of machinery that when not controlled correctly can actually kill a human being. So therefore learning to drive would be amazing I would lose that fear and trust myself to be responsible enough to do simple errands or finally finish school and get my degree and actually make a life.


   So there you have it my innermost wants and hopefully now that it's typed I can fulfill some or all of them. Maybe  I haven't humiliated myself too much.

So what's on your bucket list?

How to Make Extra Cash Online-SWAGBUCKS

Hey everyone,

Hope you all a great Christmas break and Happy New Year!

So for awhile I was contemplating about what I should write next and I thought why not tell the world of this awesome new website that I've been using recently that is a legit site that pays you through gift cards in addition to providing other services for you. So the site is called Swagbucks and to my knowledge it has been up for a long time (since 2008) and is a California based company. So how I got into this amazing website is by just going online looking for Stay at Home jobs for moms that can bring in some extra cash. So when I stumbled upon Swagbucks I was completely skeptic, you hear about all these scams online and I wasn't going just throw myself into a site giving personal information and such when it could possibly be a potential scammer on the other side of the computer. So I looked online and it was praised by a vast amount of people who use it with their proof of free gift cards.

I signed up and tested the waters and it took awhile to understand how the site works that allows to give these mass amounts of gift cards at no charge to you. The way Swagbucks works is name brand companies or survey companies, pay Swagbucks to feature their items for promotional value or to get input from the consumer and in turn Swagbucks gives you virtual currency that when accumilated can be turned into giftcards.

Here are some of the ways you can earn "Swagbucks" :

• Search Engine-while online your probably on google, yahoo, or bing and are searching random topics of interest. Swagbucks has a search engine that if you use several times a day you earn "swagbucks". You won't get "swagbucks" for every search but you do get some for something your already doing.
• The most I've gotten from this is 15 bucks.
• Watch-in this one you can watch videos that will either add up to 3 or 2 "swagbucks". Videos may be from a commercial for a product, a trailer to an upcoming movie, how to, fashion, cooking tips, entertainment. 
• You can go to Watch, Encrave, Swagbucks TV (smartphone app).
• Play video games-Swagbucks has some of thier own games that are a good way to kill time online. The most you can make is I believe 10 a day from this area, don't quote me. You can get two "swagbucks" every other time you play.
• Polling and Answering Surveys- So in the site there is a Daily poll that is worth 1 "swagbuck" and all you have to do is answer that one question. Surveys are on various topics and products and can be on a new product and its packaging and how consumers feel about it or can be about questionnaire on movies you've seen, medicines you've used, insurance, household products...list goes on. In my opinion this is the best way I've made "swagbucks" considering the most I've seen for surveys IF YOU QUALIFY is around 300 "swagbucks". 
• The only downside is if the survey is looking to ask a particular group you won't qualify and all the questions that may have taken a long time to do is for nothing but a measly 1 "swagbuck".
• Shop and coupons-in this one I've not used it yet, but what you do is if you know you are going to shop at Footlocker online, and Swagbucks has a promotion for it, which is for every dollar spent you can earn a certain number of  "swagbucks". Sometimes they will have featured promotions that will give you up to 10 times worth of "swagbucks" for every dollar spent. Also if you print out coupons from the site and it is used during a purchase, when it is redeemed at the store, you can get "swagbucks".  
• For this one I think it's neat and would love to try this because it's stuff you already buy, so why not get a discount and/or virtual money back. 
• Scavenger Hunts- swagcodes can be found on Swagbucks' blog, Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram which basically is a word you find and input in he swagcode box for "swagbucks". Amounts vary.

So I've recently felt the need to redeem some of my earn "swagbucks". The ones that seem to be a better idea for you to get that is less money is the Amazon $5 gift card that is worth 450 "swagbucks" which is a bargain to me since other $5 cards are worth 500.  They do offer other gift cards and sweepstakes for chances to win more "swagbucks" or gift card giveaways.  Some of the other Rewards in gift cards are: Wal-mart, Target, Visa, PayPal, Starbucks, Ebay, Itunes, CVS Pharmacy, Facebook, Gamestop, Burger King, Sephora, Best Buy, Home Depot, and many more. Or if you want to do good there are a lot of places to donate to as well for a good cause. These are the e-mails and confirmations that are pictured below.

Proof of email 

Verifying my order

Amazon proof

Thanks for reading, I hope this helps get you some dinero, this is my referral link, which referrals also help you get "swagbucks" BTW. You can use mine or go into the website yourself, I don't mind.  www.swagbucks.com/refer/fsolis1 

Four Small Ways to be a Better Husband

Hey everyone!

So first and foremost, I just want to thank all my readers, it really brings me joy knowing that what I'm writing is entertaining or beneficial to you in any way. Please don't forget to subscribe and/or comment.

Okay now to my blog topic, a couple of days ago I wrote about "Five Steps to Being a Better Wife", and this is just my views on how men can give back and help us girls out or make us feel special/wanted and to help you be a better husband/boyfriend/partner.

So let me just enlighten you men for a brief moment about what most girls that turn into women want or expect of their men. At a young age, girls are taught to be ever so watchful of a man who WILL sweep them off their feet, and say all the right things, and make them feel like they are the most important woman in their world. Women are also taught to be romanced all the time--you know flowers, candy, compliments, the whole nine yards. So when reality hits and we end up in this head over heels love for you and get the romancing and courtship in the beginning then suddenly is fast forward to months or years later and found that the man they fell in love with and couldn't imagine life without has now become complacent and boring to the idea of romance. This may be why women turn to infidelity or fantasy novels such as the 50 Shades series.  Many women, including myself, feel that why after the comfort level does the courtship stop?! I am only speaking for myself but have heard from many women that they are in love with their men and couldn't imagine life without them, but after not feeling just a fragment of love or romance from their men, they feel unloved which stirs up many emotions--sadness, loneliness, anger... Do you get where I'm coming from?

Which brings me to my first point...

• Treat her like your equal
• As stated in my "Better Wife" blog, it isn't all about you. Your partner is your equal. Treat your partner with that same love and respect that you want. This person you expect to always be by your side and support you, do the same for her. Women are typically the comforters and supporters of the two sexes. This in NO way means that you men can't do the same. Example: Most men are the primary source of income, however the women who may or may not have income based jobs expect the same respect as you. Let's just say you worked an typical 8 hour shift and your partner has the responsibility to take care of your children, housework, lunch and/or dinner. Once you get home, a women's job doesn't end, her shift appears to be a long tedious blur we call a day.

This one ties into the next point...

• HELP OUT around the house
• Women typically don't expect for their men to come home and get to work on cutting the yard or fixing that crack in the wall that you promised was supposed to be done months ago. We understand that you worked and you probably had to deal with a jerk that got you  in a crabby mood and are just flat out tired from work. But to not even attempt to help out or even ask is just a huge slap in the face for us. Even if it's helping out with the kid's homework or cleaning up after yourself will do a huge difference in oppose to you just refusing to do anything. By the way the men who do end up doing something, don't expect to be rewarded with this huge gesture. For example: "If I do dishes, you need to have sex with me later". Really?! We work hard too so to bring me to my first point treat her like your equal. We give you that opportunity to rest, treat us like you want to be treated and give us that equal opportunity.
• Communication
• Oh my I can not stress this one enough. Most men are taught at a young age to "Be a man", "don't cry" which roughly translates in your cranium as don't show emotion. Which later hurts your relationship when your partner wants to just communicate with you and you tell her nothing.
• UGH this one is my Everest, I feel like my husband has build up a wall and will not communicate with me his problems, concerns, feelings...the list goes on.
• We know this one task may be difficult because you just weren't brought up that way...but guys we need this for the simple reason of misunderstanding. I don't know how many times, if my husband would just tell me what he was so stressed out about I wouldn't have misunderstood and it ending up in a fight. If he had just told me he was stressed and needed space I would have understood and honored his wish until he calmed down or was ready to talk.
• Affection
• So this doesn't mean you need to go out and buy flowers everyday, take her to expensive dinners, or buy jewelry for her every chance you get. A simple I love you, kiss on the cheek/lips, descriptive compliments i.e. "You look beautiful today", you know things that flatter her go a long way. To women we love the whole intimacy through everyday things. It tells us that you took time out of your day to notice something about us. It may mean nothing to you to say or do simple things of that nature, but to us it tell us a lot. That you are thinking about us, you care, you still love us..etc.

These are some things that could help your marriage/relationship for the better. I know things I mentioned are the things I yearn for in my relationship and most women just want to know they aren't doing this alone and they do in fact have a partner in life. I know not all men are like my husband, but the truth of the matter is all women want to feel loved. I really hope you got some insight that we don't expect you to give  us women the world, but small things that go a long way.

Thanks for reading, please subscribe and/or comment.

 

Sleep Deprivation+Pinterest=this post

 

Hey everybody!




So today I'm in a comedic mood from my sleep deprivation last night.  I was trying so hard to get into a comfortable position so I can fall asleep, but when I tossed and turned and saw no relaxation in sight, I got on Pinterest and started looking at pins, and one pin lead to another then all of a sudden BAM! I entered the funny posts on Pinterest and I was literally shaking the bed while laughing to myself. So I decided to post some of them here that seem very relatable to me and maybe to you as well. ENJOY! :)





Yup




TRUTH






If only...




BLAH...





EPIC FAIL

NAILED IT








ALWAYS

Occurs waaayy too often.

HAHA he looks like such a creeper.






#Messypursestatus

Let the photo bomb commence.






Basically the reason for my post



COMMENT OR LIKE, Thank you for visiting!



 

All images or gifs were from Pinterest and or Google.

Five Steps to Being a Better Wife

In the past 6 years of marriage I noticed that I was disrespectful to my new husband I did things that no wife who genuinely cared and loved for her husband did. I can honestly say I thought no matter what I said or did he would always be there no matter what. It wasn't until a small rift on my birthday made me re-evaluate my whole approach to marriage. He decided he was leaving me on my birthday and he wanted a divorce. Wait...WHAT?! Out of all days why now, why just why? So when finally I got to talk to him about what I did wrong why he felt he needed to leave I realized he wasn't wrong. I had been a selfish self-centered wife who did not deserve him. So I promised to change and I still am, it is very difficult to change who you are in the span of a day, a week, or a month. But I tried to really listen to him and he's wants.

• LISTEN TO HIM
• It's not all about you, he is you equal, your partner he wants a say as much as you don't over step him. You are not superior to him.
• TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT
• Guys are simple they just want to know what you want or need and do it. They hate mind games, especially mine. Just because girls know exactly what you mean when you insinuate something doesn't mean our counterparts do. I played so many games with him for example: During a fight I would run to the other room and wait for him to chase me and tell me all the things he was sorry about so we can make up and everything would be all better. Then get upset when he wouldn't and be in the next room just watching t.v. or playing he's video games. He didn't know what I wanted he thought he was just giving me space. If I just told him straight up, " I don't want to fight this is why I was wrong and this is what I felt you did"...fights wouldn't have multiplied and lasted so long and I could have had things go back to happiness and bliss.
• LET HIM DO HIS OWN THING
• This one actually surprised me I started telling him go ahead a play games or go out with friends to unwind. He appreciated me not being so clingy or always there and letting him be a guy. He started texting me when he was with friends and coming home missing me. (My husband struggles with his emotions and doesn't communicate well, but after giving him space he started to.) He told me he likes to hang out with the guys but after awhile all he wanted to do was come home to me and our daughter, but he is thankful for me not arguing about letting him do him. After days of dresses, makeup and girl shows he was able to be a man and let loose.
• BE SPONTANOUS
• Looks
• So say your a stay at home mom/wife like me and you know you aren't going to do much today and you do chores or watch t.v. and then take a shower. But what to put on...hmm a clean t-shirt and pajama pants or a cute shirt and jeans or shorts. Makeup or no make....all these decisions. Like honestly 9 out of 10 times I'm dressed in pajamas which is nice and comfortable. But men aren't always looking to come home after looking at what the entertainment industry shows them to a wife that look blah. So get out of those sweats or dirty work close and get nice and pretty for your hubby. Last time I did this he was like why are you all dressed up...I told him for you. He was surprised and grateful and wanted to go out which hardly ever happens when he gets out of work. Men are visual creatures and of course love you for who you are, but why won't you take that extra step and get dolled up for your man.
• Just Because...
• What does your husband like that you do that you rarely do. In my case it's cooking. I hardly take time to cook a real meal for my man, I always offer but in the end we get frustrated because we need to go to the store to get ingredients and by the time I make it we end up getting food to go...blah it's not excuse but that's what ends up happening. So do what you know he loves you doing just because. Buy him a gift just because or treat him to lunch at work. Guys want to know they are in your thoughts and doing things for them just because gives them a sense of appreciation.
• SET ALONE TIME
• So this one has been a big one since the arrival of our little one, we now have to set time for us to be a couple and not a mother and father. It's important to get to know your husbands wants and needs, goals and dreams as years passed you and your husband change. To have one-on-one time with your spouse will give them the chance to tell you about any struggles at work or in life or being grateful for the time you are spending as a couple. This time can be utilized to become intimate and create bonds with your spouse as well as just talk and be yourselves. I use this time to just get to know my husband and play around with him the way we did when we dated as well as create intimacy in the bedroom that would be non-existent if my daughter were home or awake.

Marriage isn't perfect and neither are people. These are just a few that I've been trying but I'm sure there is more. 

 

These are mine that I have been working on, I left my sources in the bottom of the page of which also have more tips, if you like or have tried any of these leave a comment below. If you have any additional ones that worked for you don't be afraid to let go. I want to hear from you.

Sources:
http://www.sheknows.com/holidays-and-seasons/articles/812457/6-tips-for-becoming-a-better-wife,
 http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Better-Spouse
http://www.ehow.com/how_4491667_become-better-wife.html 
Photo used from http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/love/images/31501490/title/key-wallpaper

Life After Losing Baby-One Girl's Story of an Ectopic Pregnancy

On August 10th 2014, I collapsed at my parent's house. I had previously been feeling pain on my left shoulder and associated it with sleeping incorrectly. Little did I know that was a experiencing a symptom of Ectopic Pregnancy. (Ectopic or Tubal Pregnancy is when an egg which has been fertilized and settled in a fallopian tube or just anywhere outside the lining of the uterus) I remember getting sweaty and dizzy and just overall abdominal pain with bleeding--to which I concluded to be my menstrual cycle. The pain was so excoriating that while collapsed and yelling for help, I didn't realize that I had locked the bathroom door. My sister attempted to get in to help me but I had locked the door and had to drag myself to unlock the door. I had to be careful that my four year old in the next room was not alarmed by my unsettling state. I called my husband and he came immediately and offered to take me to the hospital for evaluation. I however, knowing that I had probably just had extremely painful cramping decided to just go home and rest and I convinced him and myself that I was going to get over the pain on my own.
My husband attempted to come up with reasons I had fainted and was in excruciating pain, he then told me that maybe I was constipated and needed to take magnesium citrate (a liquid laxative). The next day I took it and was literally in pain and indisposed ALL DAY LONG. I never questioned the motives of my husband more then I did when he came up with that brilliant "solution". So after feeling lighter and with very little sleep, I told him we had to go to my gynecologist to find out what exactly is going on in my body.
*****TMI*****On August 12th 2014 I woke up to  a chunk of tissue in my pad and to a pain that didn't seem to go away. I went immediately to my doctor which they made me take a urine test and I will never forget how I felt when the nurse and the nurse practitioner came in telling me that I tested POSITIVE in the pregnancy test and they wanted me to do an ultra-sound.
As I got ready for the ultra sound, my husband and I talked about hope since we wanted to be pregnant for about 3 years and this could be the blessing we had both hoped for. We attempted to stay optimistic and excited. The nurse and the nurse practitioner came in and begin checking me and I hoped so much to hear, "Oh you're blank amount of weeks pregnant, congratulations. To my husband and my devastation the words said was more like "we can't find anything in your uterus". They however did see a black area outside my uterus which they wanted my doctor to check me again and give his professional opinion.
Again my husband and I went to the waiting room and attempted to be hopeful against our better judgment.  As I sat in that waiting room and watching all those pregnant women with husbands, boyfriends or family members I broke down crying, I asked God, "WHY, why won't you allow me to have my little someone that I had been yearning to have for those three years?!" I prayed and prayed and cried, but when it was time for my other ultra-sound, the news was only bleaker then before. This time he had sadness in his eyes and told me the baby was probably 4-6 weeks along and I was hemorrhaging and needed to have surgery as soon as possible.
Around 7-8 p.m. that Wednesday, I had a surgery done to removed my right fallopian tube and my unborn baby  that could have never had a life even if I allowed myself to hemorrhage and die for the life of my baby.
Three days later, a follow up appointment was done and I got to see the pictures of my surgery. Apparently I was 2 MONTHS pregnant and I had was hemorrhaging on the day I collapsed. The baby had grown too large in my right fallopian tube and it had burst and blood began to clot. I was lucky I lived, I lost a lot of blood. Many women who hemorrhage from an ectopic pregnancy lose too much blood thinking they are just menstruating and end up losing their lives. What I wouldn't do to replace my baby's death for my own.
My husband has now proclaimed it is God's fault and he wants nothing to do with him and became and atheist. I am still hurt, but hopeful and thankful now. What a extremely lucky person I am to have a baby give up their life for me.
I only knew of my baby's existence hours prior to its death and I will eternally love and remember of that baby I never got to hold or hear its voice, see its personality, laugh. The irony of this terrible ordeal is that I became closer to God as my husband fled from his faith (not that it was strong in the first place). Life has become easier but I know life will be better.

Frances

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo courtesy of :http://helenabbott.com/pregnancy-loss/post-1-for-test-2/